Merry Christmas And A Long Overdue Blog Post!

Hello Everyone!  I hope this time of year finds you all happy, healthy (even if you have cancer!), and able to spend a little extra time with the ones you love.  I actually rode on my bike trainer this morning for a while.  YAY!! I don’t feel well enough to do much exercise most days, so today is a GREAT day!  At the end of infusion they give me a neulasta shot.  That helps boost my immunity cell production which is great!  But, it also makes my bones ache.  After Round 1, I swore I needed a hip replacement!  Rounds 2 & 3, I need two knee replacements and a rotator cuff!  I’m excited for the aching to eventually stop and to be able to get back out running, biking, and skiing.  Sniff sniff! 

I have decided that there really is NO GOOD time to go through chemo, but the holiday season is exceptionally tricky!   Luckily, and I feel very blessed because many people do not have this luxury, I was able to negotiate an extra week in between rounds 2 & 3 so I felt great for Thanksgiving and I will feel good for Christmas too.  Had I not gotten the extra week, my treatments would have been on Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I completely missed Halloween (details coming). 

This time of year is crazy busy for the Williamson family so again, first thing, I have to give mad props to my amazing husband for everything he is doing.  He is the truly Mr. Amazing!  He cooks, cleans, does laundry, drives kiddos around, works, etc. etc.  I could not do this without him.  And, his work has been amazing…he has been by my side at every single one of my infusions.  I love you Troy Williamson!  And, my kiddos are troopers!  Even Sloane is concerned.  She comes and checks to see if I still have my port and then asks:  “You need more chemo mom?”  I tell her yes and then she pats it and says “It’s OK!”  My boys have been so helpful too.  I am very blessed!

And it is working!  You can hardly feel my lymph nodes any longer!  I don’t think I stated this before, but when they scanned me before I started chemo, I had internal nodes that were as big as a 5 in my chest and abdomen.  That is about the size of a racquetball, so that did explain why I was starting to have a hard time with breathing etc. 

And, so far so good on the hair front.  I still have a full head of hair.  Other than the port, there are no visible signs of my treatment!  I really think if it wasn’t for the side effects of the chemo and neulasta, I’d be feeling like a million out-of shape bucks!

Sooooo, two questions I’m sure you have:

1)   How’d rounds 2 & 3 go?

2)   Why have you not posted in so long?

Ok, ok…here are your answers:

Round 2

I must have done something bad that I still need to repent of because I went to hell and back in round 2.  It was NOT pretty!  I was unable to post at all during that fun experience. 

I went for infusion Tues – Thurs of that week.  Friday morning (the day when I know I start feeling awful) I woke to screaming kids.  They woke up downstairs and found water… a lot of it!  Our 50 gallon re-generating water heater had sprung a leak and unleashed her fury all night long.  Troy and I ran downstairs and turned off the main water and then started to try to clean up.  We soon found that it was a job we could not handle…and the puking started.  Let me just say it is not so fun to be puking in toilets that don’t flush.  Ugh!  I went to the neighbors to use their shower which I threw up in (thanks Wheelers and sorry)!

Thank goodness for disaster clean-up teams and insurance!  But, honestly….when it rains it pours…literally.  I’m sure we are marked at all of our insurance companies with big red stars:  Watch out for the Williamsons.  They cost us a lot of money!

Anyway, I really think that I just did not get a handle on the nausea in the beginning and then I was behind the 8 ball.  But, it went from bad to worse.   I went up Friday afternoon for the neulasta shot and then came home.  That happened to be Halloween.  

I passed out on the couch (literally).  I wanted to be part of Halloween, but I don’t remember a dang thing.  I don’t know how to explain in written words but it was honestly a crazy state.  I’ve been told I talked to visitors and saw my kids dressed up, but I DO NOT remember hardly anything from that night.  Friday and Saturday were a non-stop puke fest.  That, I do remember.

On Saturday, I remember getting up and going to the shower hoping I would feel better.  I got out and crawled to my bed, naked.  I remember getting onto the bed and laying down thinking I would just recover for a few and then go get dressed and brush my hair.  Somehow (thanks Troy) I woke up dressed and with Medusa hair about 9 hours later.  There were bowls full of vomit next to me, so I at least was coherent enough to use the bowls but I don’t remember doing it.  Why was Troy not emptying them??? Well, he came in asked if I was ok, and I had a conversation with him assuring him I was, so he took the boys to a cyclocross race that they were excited about.  They called and talked to me, took pictures and texted them, I replied to texts, etc.  I DO NOT REMEMBER ANY OF THIS!!  I have chemo induced amnesia for about 48 hours of my life.  It is the craziest dang thing! 

Sunday was better, the nausea got a bit better and I remember that day.  By Monday, I went in to work, because it is right by Huntsman and I was sure they were going to give me an IV as I was down 8 pounds and looked like a grey ghost.  As soon as the clinic opened, I called and they asked if I had thrown up that day.  I said no (it was a miracle!) so they said, just drink fluids, don’t come up!  UGH!!!  I guess I’m not as pathetic as I thought!  (Actually come to find out, when I met with my oncologist before round 3, she was mad they said that.  I should have been taken up there on Saturday, but poor Troy had delirious me telling him I was OK.  You live and learn!)

In-between Rounds

So the Monday after Round 2 I went to work.  People keep saying:  “Why would you do that, take it easy!”  Well, here’s the deal... it is what I do.  If I stay home and everyone else is gone, I stay on the couch and feel worse.  It is just as easy for me to be sick at work.  I can take a nap on my office floor if I need to.   Also, I love what I do and I’m really busy!  When I’m out the week prior for infusion, I get behind so it is nice to get back into the swing of things.

So why did I not post, well after Round 2, I went back to work.  Dug out of the hole from being in infusion and then went to Portland.  I’ve been teaching a class this semester on the Federal Reserve and Monetary Policy.  The culmination is a big symposium where students act as FOMC members and members of the FED are in attendance.  Lewis & Clark College had a symposium before mine, so I flew up to see that.  Right after I came home, I was in charge of a trip with my Business Scholars to San Francisco.  We visited Apple and Google corporate offices and went to the UofU/Stanford football game.  Troy was able to come along.  It was great!

Then I put on the Symposium at the U.  It was a great success – whew!  I have awesome students!!  

Right after that, I hopped back on a plane and went to watch Frasier run at the Nike Cross Country Region Championships in Phoenix.  (A great big thanks to my good friend Rachel Lundevall for hosting me in her home and driving me all around Phoenix!  I had a great time!)

Frasier’s team took 2^nd in the region so they earned a trip to NXN (Nike Cross Country Nationals) in Portland!

November was non-stop travel and then Thanksgiving.  I was grateful for that extra week of feeling good!  I was able to get some shopping done, set-up Christmas and eat good food!  And, I enjoyed every minute of it!  Now, my storage room looks like the Amazon shipping warehouse!  I hope they sent the right stuff!  I have a lot of wrapping to do!

So, my friends, that is why I didn’t post until now.  I literally can’t believe it is already almost Christmas.  November zoomed by!

Round 3

Right after Thanksgiving I went back up to Huntsman for Round 3.  I was super nervous about this round after 1 & 2 being such enjoyable experiences!  But, like I said previously, we met with Dr. Glenn and her PA and told them about Round 2.  They weren’t too happy about that, so they decided to try something different with Round 3.  On the third infusion day, they also infused a long-lasting anti-nausea med.  It essentially shuts down your gut for 72 hours.  So that brings its own set of constipation problems, but it was SO WORTH IT!!!  I made it through Round 3 without a single throw-up!  I did dry heave multiple times and sucked on my anti-nausea suckers a lot (thanks Mom!) but I did so much better and rebounded so much faster too!!  Yahoo!!

For the constipation, I had to take a lot of senna, stool softeners, and miralax, so that was fun, but overall it wasn’t too bad!  I’m doing the same thing for Round 4 and praying it works again and wasn’t a “fluke”!  I had a lot of people praying me healthy for Round 3, because right after I was done we loaded in the car and drove to Portland to watch Frasier at NXN.  The drive to Portland is llllloooooonnnnnnggggg!  Troy drove the whole thing while I rested in the passenger seat.  Thanks again Troy…you  rock!  We made it to watch Frasier and his team run.  They took 6^th IN THE NATION!!  The girls team also made it and took 15^th!  Davis has an amazing program with even more amazing coaches.  We feel so blessed to live where we do and have such great opportunities for our kids.

Additionally, we have awesome friends and neighbors!  We have received notes, meals, treats, babysitting, rides for our kids, tickets to events, etc. etc.  I haven’t done thank you cards and I feel really bad about that.  I hope this suffices.  Please know how much we love and appreciate you and I only hope that I am able to repay the kindness shown us lately.  It is actually really hard to be on the receiving end.  I would much rather be the one taking dinners to someone (not that I wish anyone else sickness) but it is hard to be in a place where people are offering you service.  I’ve had to tell myself that they are getting blessings AND we are truly experiencing what Christmas is all about….kindness, love, and charity.  So, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

My sister Liz is doing something awesome for me (and her)!  She signed up for IronMan Lake Placid and is raising money for cancer research along the way.  KSL wrote an article about her found here:   http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1286&sid=32676991

What Liz wrote about me on her fundraising page is really, really awesome!  That is found here:  http://support.themmrf.org/site/TR?px=1770029&fr_id=1730&pg=personal

Please go read that, don’t worry, you don’t have to donate if you click to read her post.  But, THANK YOU to everyone who has donated!  It is overwhelming and amazing!

Frasier also designed a shirt for his Marketing class.  He is so cute!   All proceeds go to Huntsman Cancer Research.  You can check that out here:

http://www.booster.com/cancersucks-huntsmancancerfoundationfundraiser

I was talking to my sweet aunt last night and she teared up talking about how it is unfair that I worked so hard to be in great physical shape and that is all going downhill (literally, I’m going to be starting from ground 0 when I get back out running and biking!)  She is so awesome!  But, and I really mean this, as I go up to Huntsman, I see people who are so much worse off than me.  I truly feel lucky and blessed (most of the time!) for what life has thrown at me.  And, it has taught me about being kind, patient, humble, and grateful.  Life is just too short and uncertain to get so worked up about the things that we often think are big deals!  I’m grateful that I’m learning that the hard way and that I’m able to put that into practice most days!  I really feel like I’m a better mom, wife, boss, and co-worker because of cancer.  It has given me the opportunity to receive charity, to truly witness kindness and charity in action, and to understand a bit more my Savior Jesus Christ whose birth we now celebrate!  I know that this life is all about trying each day to be a little bit more like Him and even through awful things like cancer, we all learn to be more like Him!   

Round 4 is right after Christmas.  I’ll be there on my birthday and New Year’s so that is kind of a bummer, but I’m hopeful it will be like Round 3 and not too bad.  I’ll post after.  Until then, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas!