Saturday, March 28, 2015

I'm Done!

I’m Done!
Yahoo!  I’m done!  Yesterday I had my port removed.  I’m a bit sore and tired but give me a few days and I think it is going to feel great to have that out! 
I’ll post a picture of the actual port at the end of the blog, so if you’re squeamish, don’t scroll all the way down.  I think it is actually pretty amazing to see.  You can see the three dots that you could see through my skin.  They would poke the needle right into the middle of the part with the three dots and then drip the chemo drugs right into the line.  The line (tube) ran into my artery by my heart.  So, the chemo would immediately pump through my whole body. Pretty amazing!  I’m glad I had it, but I’m even more glad to be done with it!
They gave me a choice of being put out or just having the site numbed when I had the port removed.  I opted for less anesthesia and just had the site numbed.  So, it was a bit weird as I could feel pressure as it was being removed, but then I didn’t have to deal with the loopiness, nausea, etc. that comes along with anesthesia.  Today I just feel worn out and the actual incision site is sore and kind of stings, but its not too bad.

The last month has been a bit of a blur.  I went to Norway and Denmark, came home, went through chemo round 6, got sick, ended up spending 5 days in the hospital, got out, and then went through the port removal.  I’m sooooooo excited to start trying to get back to normal. 
Even though I’m all done with chemo, it can take months for my blood counts to return to normal.  Additionally, I have to stay on meds for a least another month to keep me from getting infections, protect my organs, etc.  And, they keep telling me that I need to take it easy and not push it as I start feeling better.  The time between finishing chemo and feeling back to normal can still be months.  Dangit!  I want to go run ten miles, but in reality, I have to start from ground 0.  I haven’t run in 6 months.  I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me….but I’m excited for it!
Round 6 was kind of rough!  I thought I would go in, be done and start getting better.  Instead, I kept feeling worse and worse.  By Sunday, Troy took my temperature and I was at 105.1!   Scary! 

He called the oncologist on call and he kind of freaked out and told Troy to get me in to the nearest hospital ASAP.  We headed straight to U Med ER because I was pretty sure I’d be checked in and I DID NOT want to go to Davis hospital.  I’ve never had this happen, but we got to the ER and they took me straight back!  Like I was patient numero uno!  We went past the people who were bleeding, etc. and they didn’t even take my information.  They just immediately took me back and then hooked me up to an IV.  
Then, I was checked in to Huntsman Cancer Hospital and stayed there from Sunday until Thursday!  Why?  Well I was just finished with chemo and it was doing its job wiping out my white blood cells and therefore, my immunity.  At the same time, I had some unknown infection and no way of fighting it on my own.  So, they put me in the immune-suppressed area of the hospital and hooked me up to IV antibiotics.  I had to be on them until my fever was gone for a straight 24 hours.  Then I had to wait until my counts started going up instead of down.  Then, I had to be taken off all IV fluids and able to function fine for 24 hours.  It seemed like forever, but at the same time, I was in the area of the hospital where there are REALLY SICK people.  
I truly was never worried about being able to go home; it was just a matter of when.  But, many of those patients and their families are just praying that they will get to go home.  So, through it all, I still feel very blessed and lucky!
I fell very thankful too that the chemo worked.  At the moment, there are no signs of cancer.  Unfortunately, the chemo just killed it all, but they don’t know how to stop the rogue cells from forming, so at some point, it will come back.  But, we are hoping that is years and years.  Also, strides are being made all of the time in cancer research.  With more time and more money, hopefully researchers will figure out better treatment options, or even better…a CURE!  So, for the time being, we just keep on living and taking advantage of every day!  It really is a blessing to feel good and I’m grateful for that clarity.   
I also feel very blessed and grateful that a few years ago we made the decision for me to stop working from home and go back to work for a large organization full-time.  We are double insured and so that has meant we have been able to financially manage this.  If we weren’t I seriously think that the past six months would have financially devastating.  Instead, we’ve been able to survive and I’ve also worked for the greatest people who have allowed me to keep working.  I’ve had TA’s and other professors who have helped with my classes when I couldn’t be there.  I’m very appreciative.
Troy and the kids have also been amazing!  They’ve done so much!!
The things that I’ve learned or that have been hard for me are:
11)      I can’t always do everything.
22)      I have to be patient and be OK with losing fitness, having my house a mess, letting people take over for me.
33)      Receiving service/charity is MUCH harder than giving it.
44)      Even cancer can be a blessing.
55)      Every single day is a gift and there is no reason to spend any day unhappy or not focused on what is most important.
My life the past 6 months has been crazy.  I’ve been out of my routine, I’ve been crazy sick, and I’ve been losing weeks of my life to chemo and then playing catch-up….just in time to start the whole process all over again!  One thing I’m sad about is I haven’t done/given proper thank you’s to everyone who has done nice things for us.  We’ve had dinners, rides for my kids, babysitting, treats dropped off, gifts, cards, messages, and many many prayers.  Thank you, thank you!  I’m not even sure in some cases who came past or did things.  So, please know that even though you didn’t get a proper thank you, I so very much appreciate all the kindness shown to my family and me and I promise to try my hardest to pay it forward.
As for today, I’m on the couch with no desire to do anything.  But, I expect that after a couple of days recovering, I’ll be back in the swing of things and am excited to start biking, swimming, and running more regularly as my body allows.  Watch out world!  Here I come! 
P.S.  Port Picture:


Rock on….Alayna    

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Round 5 is in the books!

Hi Everyone -

Quick update as I have to pack for Norway!!!

Round 5 went well.  It was on par with round 3 - yay!  I started on Tuesday, did fine.  I wore my cool shirt that students got for me:



Went Wednesday, still fine.  Thursday morning I woke up really nauseous.  I threw up once at home, and once at the check-in desk at Huntsman.  I felt really bad, there was a girl there - probably a bit younger than me.  It was her first time to infusion.  She was clearly upset and nervous and then I show up and start puking right in front of her.  She started crying!  Sorry for the rough introduction lady!  After I was all done I went and found her and told her it wasn't so bad.  I don't think she believed me though.

I did find the trick to getting a private infusion room though.  Puke at check-in and they send you to your own room! ha ha


On Thursday they gave me the long lasting stuff again.  It worked.  I have to just sleep for about 48 hours straight and then I can return to the world of the living and function again.



I'm about through the achy's this round too.  This time it was knuckles and knees that killed.  But, I think I can handle walking around Norway so its all good!

I ONLY HAVE ONE ROUND LEFT!!!!  Yay!  It will be the end of February.  Then I get my dumb port out too.  I can't stand that thing.  Woo hoo!

I'll post pics of Norway on Instagram.  Find me if you haven't yet:  alayna_williamson
Someone told me that if you put more than one picture per day on instagram then it is called insta-vomit.  Oh well...I'm good at puking lately, so be prepared for me to insta-vomit Norway all over the place!

Loves to all - rock on!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Round 4 Done...Bring On Round 5!

Hi Everyone!  Sorry I haven’t updated lately.  Round 4 was a doozy…it took a bit of time to recover from that one.  Then, the new semester started, life got crazy, I finally took down my Christmas decorations, and what do you know but its time to head back up there AGAIN!

First, the family and kiddos are all doing great.  They have indoor track, Jr. Jazz bball, piano, scouts, dance lessons, school, and ski passes to keep them totally busy.  Troy continues to pull triple duty around here and keeps life running!  I love him!!!

Troy just started kicking it in for the Whistler Ironman this summer.  He will be doing it the exact same day my sister will be doing Lake Placid.  Oh how I wish I could be in two places at once!  Liz, by the way, has met and is still taking donations to exceed her goal of raising $5,000 for cancer research!  Thank you to everyone who donated!!!  Just wait…I’ll be back out doing another one here soon.  (Just probably not in 2015, unfortunately!)

Alrighty then, round 4.  ICK!  I was scheduled for right over New Year’s so I went up there on the 30th and 31st (my birthday – how fun is chemo on your birthday!?!) and then…the outpatient clinic took the day off.  Right when they told me that, I knew it was a bad idea, (why would I want to prolong infusion!?!)  but they promised me that things would be fine.  So, I got juiced up for two days, then spent January 1st at home letting it all simmer and work its magic, and then went back up on the 2nd for another infusion.  That night…it hit with a vengeance!  I was so sick!!

I went back up on the 3rd and they immediately hooked me back up to an IV and gave me intravenous anti-nausea meds.  They helped maybe a little??  I don’t know.  I threw up while I was hooked up.  After a full IV bag had been infused, the nurse asked if we thought that was about how much fluid I had lost.  Ha Ha!  Troy and I both laughed out loud.  I would have had to be hooked up to about 4 bags to replenish me.  But, they got my blood pressure (it gets really low) and nausea under control for a time, finished my treatments, and then sent me home. 

Usually a couple days later I can function, but I was down – literally – on the couch for 3 more days.  And I was still vomiting the next day.  But, the car makes me that much more sick, so I decided it was better to just stay home and try to get hydrated.    

My sweet neighbor Melinda came over and brought oils and even rubbed them on my feet!  How’s that for a great neighbor!?!  I also had my other neighbor Chad and his wife come over.  Chad and Troy gave me a blessing.  I’m very grateful that I have so many people that love me and are concerned about me! 

Once I got feeling better, I’ve done really good.  This time I didn’t get nearly as achy as I have in the past. I even rode my bike twice and did yoga once this past week. That’s kind of major!   I’m in horrible shape (fitness) now, so after this is all done, I’m going to do those before and after pics to see how far downhill I’ve gone and how long it takes to get back. :)   I’m hoping for some serious muscle memory to kick in because I’ve lost all muscle tone now. Dang it!

I’m also still eating relatively crappy!  I tried some salad the other day when I felt pretty good and it was bad news!!!  I knew better...but still!  I love salads…I’m craving every salad on Blue Lemon’s menu right now…but I cannot eat a lot of fruits or veggies or my stomach gets really angry at me!  I’m thinking it has to do with all of the meds they have me taking.  So, I eat a lot of carbs, potatoes, meat, etc.  It is really a ridiculous diet!   I’m looking super forward to the end of all of this when I can:
1)   Finish chemo
2)  Get my port out
3)  Stop taking meds
4)  Start exercising again
5)  Start eating healthy again

But, before that, I have two more rounds.  I head back up to Huntsman on Tuesday.  So far, the only round that has been somewhat OK and not horrible has been round 3.  We are going to try and duplicate that.  Same meds, no break, lots of rest, etc. I’m hoping it goes well.  And, I’m hoping I recover quickly because….I’m going out of town!

The U of U has a lot of success in recruiting students from Norway because of the great skiing we have here.  There is a big college fair in Oslo.  I was forced (read that as I volunteered!) to go with my staff to help recruit.  We have high school visits, alumni visits, and the college fair set up in Oslo and also in Copenhagen!  Can you believe it!?!  I just wish I could take Troy with me.  I totally would if he didn’t have to teach.  He will be heading to Europe with me this summer though.

I know…I know…I’m a lucky girl!  No, cancer isn’t super lucky, but all things considered…if someone has to have it I’d rather it be me than anyone else.  I’m tough, I can handle it, and I’m learning from it. 

I’m usually pretty out of it for the week of chemo.  I’ll try to post sooner than later.  If it goes well, it will be sooner!  And I’ll for sure post some pics from Norway and Denmark!!

Thanks for all your love and concern!


Rock on!